I know she's the Spongebob in my life but she is still my sister. She's been back for break for the past 3 weeks and she returns on Sunday. She's spent one night with me for only an hour. One night I texted her and asked her if she wanted to see the Muppets and she turned me down because she was feeling under the weather. I was like okay, that's fine. A few nights later as I had just packed my things to stay at my boyfriend's for the weekend she suddenly turns to me and mentions how she wanted to stay home and spend time with me. She only mentions this as I'm about to walk out the door. I was rather insulted by this as any time I ask her hours in advance she would turn me down. As I'm about to step out the door is when she "wants" to spend time with me. Well, fuck you.
Tonight I mentioned to her again if she wanted to go see the Muppets and now her tune changes. Now she doesn't like "childish" movies and she absolutely hates the sound of cartoon like voices. It's the fucking Muppets. I point out to her that the first episode of The Muppets Show was titled Sex and Violence to identify the Muppets as a seperate entity from Seasme Street. I'm a bit taken aback by her sudden negativity on the subject. So I mention The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. She turns this down and offers me to watch Twilight Eclipse with her at home. She knows I absolutely abhor Twilight. It was kind of a slap in my face. I'm trying to offer her a night out with me and all she wants me to do with her is sit around and watch fucking Twilight? I even offered to pay to take her out because I know she's strapped for cash.
I've noticed that I've been much happier with her living away. I've really found myself and I've been striving to become more cultured. I want to learn more and be able to hold my own in a debate. I've even been studying bits about the bible so I can have a say rather than feeling like I child when I say I have a different belief than someone (aka my sister when she decides to turn on me for being Agnostic and not Catholic/Christian). I'm taking more of an interest on history and peace. I feel like everyone in my family has a problem with me for this but, to be quite honest, I find my family to be uneducated and judgmental. I don't want to be part of this anymore but, they are my family and because of that I do love them. It just sucks when those same people can't give you the time or day.
I don't know why this makes me so upset. My mother compared me to her friend for having a psycho attitude, but is this psycho? Is it psycho to feel battered and beaten?
Also I would like to point out that i don't find my sister's mocking personaility to be funny or her boyfriend making fart sounds at me when I bend over. I feel attacked by her.
"Oh, she's joking," they say. Do I find it funny to feel embarassed about the things I do that she mocks me for? Of course I don't and when I ask her to stop she just laughs more.
My friends pointed out to me the other night how I'm never mad. This is true but, it seems the only person to bring out my fury is my sister so why do I seem to find it a need to spend time with her? I think it's the empathy in knowing that she is my only sister and the fact that I try to live by the lyrics:
Only one or two will last
You go through all this pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
And they're gone so fast
So hold on to the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
When you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
In the end we'll be the only two left in our family. We'll see each other at family functions and try to keep in contact because we are family. To be honest, I don't think we'll be tight in the future. If I'm the only one trying to put some effort into this relationship then what's the sense in trying anymore?